Ever the gentleman, Dan walked his blind date to Holt’s front door, where she shivered as she rummaged through her purse for her keys. \u201cWant to come in for a cup of coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dan could easily hear the unspoken, \u201cand more?\u201d<\/em> in her words, and he barely contained a scowl. Cherie had done nothing wrong and ordinarily he would have jumped at the opportunity. She was beautiful, had curves in all the right places, and had all but been dropped in his lap. Part of him thought he was crazy for just dropping her off at Holt\u2019s front door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThank you, but I should get home,\u201d he told her, trying to let her down gently. \u201cI had fun tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMe, too. Maybe I\u2019ll see you again before I go home? I\u2019m here until next weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m going to be pretty busy, but we\u2019ll see. If not, enjoy the rest of your time up here. At least it should warm up soon.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n She nodded, unable to mask her disappointment. “Thanks again for everything.” She turned and went inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ten minutes later, Hannah came to meet him as he walked through his front door, and he scooped her up, her purring doing a lot to ease the immediate anger at his fellow officer for forcing him into the blind date he had neither asked for nor wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat am I doing?\u201d he asked her as he carried her into the kitchen. He set her down and put a few treats on top of the food in her bowl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know everyone was surprised when I got so angry at Holt for setting me up. I mean, anyone else would have jumped at this, and it\u2019s not like I\u2019m dating anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMeow!\u201d Hannah looked up from her eating and glared at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s not that simple, kitty.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She gave him a look that clearly said she thought he was being an idiot and wandered away to her litter box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He snorted as he grabbed a can of coke from his refrigerator and a bag of chips from the counter, taking them into the living room where he plopped down on the couch. His hand reached for his phone, but he picked up the remote instead, clicking through channels until he found something to halfway take his mind off of wondering what she<\/em> was doing tonight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His mood was only slightly improved when he showed up at the station on Monday morning and everyone seemed to instinctively stay out of his way. Mid-morning, Dell called him into his office and pushed a cup of coffee in his hands. \u201cWanna talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo.\u201d He took the coffee and sat down in the chair across the desk. \u201cYou know I don\u2019t like being forced into things. Holt had no right to put me over a barrel like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, but it\u2019s more than that, isn\u2019t it? I would have thought you\u2019d have jumped at the chance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cReally? You know I hate being forced into things, especially at the last minute.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, but usually you get over it and have fun. You\u2019re not usually stewing two days later.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis was different,\u201d he admitted reluctantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTell me something I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know why, but obviously there\u2019s something else bothering you. Ordinarily, this would be none of my business and I\u2019d stay out of it, but there are a couple of extenuating factors here. One. It\u2019s affecting morale. Two. Trixie heard all about it Saturday night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan swore. \u201cNo offense, but do you have any idea how glad I am that you\u2019re <\/em>the one stuck with her?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGlad to hear it, because I\u2019d hate to have to fight you over her,\u201d Dell chuckled. \u201cBut I think you have two options. You can either talk to me and I can assure her all is well, or you can talk to her about it. I honestly don\u2019t care which, but she\u2019s not going to leave either<\/em> of us alone until you do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan\u2019t you just tell her to drop it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDan. Think back to when you were in high school. How many times did I tell her to keep her nose out of something? It didn\u2019t work then, and it works even less now.\u201d He sighed. \u201cChloe\u2019s teething and extremely cranky, so she\u2019s not sleeping more than a couple of hours at a time right now. I try to help, but Trixie\u2019s beyond frazzled and frustrated. She\u2019s not sleeping any more than Chloe is, and she\u2019s also trying to find a balance between home and work that doesn\u2019t make her feel like she\u2019s failing at both. To top it all off, I royally messed up last week and the case I wanted to prevent her worrying about literally came to a head in our own back yard. So no, I\u2019m not going to tell her to drop it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou do realize that as brash and brave as she is, she\u2019s struggled with insecurities as long as I\u2019ve known her? She comes across as self-assured, but deep down, she isn\u2019t. Please tell me you\u2019re not making it worse.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot intentionally! The agency is doing better than ever, and trust me, I have no complaints at home. I\u2019m doing what I can, Dan. But it would really help if you would go talk to her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBoss or not, we\u2019re going to have words if she tells me it\u2019s your fault,\u201d Dan warned, even grouchier than when he had come into the office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, technically, I suppose you could say Chloe is…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou know<\/em> what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow about this. You talk to Trixie and I\u2019ll talk to Holt when he comes back from vacation. Best offer you\u2019ll get. Nobody wants this to escalate to where the chief gets involved.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDeal, but I reserve the right to have a go at Holt myself if he ever does this to me again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAgreed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan sent a Trixie a quick text when he got back to his desk, and two hours later, they were sitting in the conference room at the agency with takeout from Wimpy\u2019s. The two ate in relative silence, until Dan wadded up his burger wrapper and expertly lobbed it into the garbage can near the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo I heard you want to talk to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trixie put the rest of her burger on the table and idly toyed with her straw wrapper for a moment before sighing. \u201cYou know, I remember a conversation a few years ago when you asked me something along the lines of \u2018What do you think you\u2019re doing?\u2019 I\u2019ve been waiting for the day I\u2019d get to throw that back at you, but instead, I\u2019m just going to ask, \u2018Do you know what you\u2019re doing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, I don\u2019t. And while I know you\u2019re going to make me talk about it, why don\u2019t you tell me what\u2019s up with you, first?\u201d He softened his tone. \u201cHeard you\u2019ve been struggling with Chloe\u2019s new sleep patterns.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s not helping. Don\u2019t get me wrong. I love my daughters. Both of them. Chloe\u2019s teething will eventually end, and I\u2019ll get to sleep through the night again.\u201d She held up a hand. \u201cBefore you say it, yes, Dell\u2019s helping. Lack of sleep is part of why he was so short with everyone last week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGlad to hear that. I may<\/em> have threatened him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She rolled her eyes, but then her shoulders slumped. \u201cThis is all me, Dan. I was doing great up until about a month ago. Thought I was getting into the swing of things and doing okay at balancing motherhood and the agency. Then we had a conference at Erica\u2019s school. I had no idea she\u2019s actually almost done with the fifth grade math book. I knew she finished the fourth grade book and started on it, but not that she basically flew through the whole thing in three months. How could I not have known that? So then we had to figure out what to do for next year. It\u2019s not fair to her to make her repeat an entire year of math, but Mrs. Franklin only teaches through fifth grade. Jim suggested either letting her skip fifth grade entirely and move on up to the middle school or just let her take math and science with the sixth graders. Academically, she\u2019d be fine if she skipped the year, but maturity wise…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe\u2019s trying to grow up too fast,\u201d Dan finished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trixie nodded. \u201cWe\u2019re worried about her losing the rest of her childhood too soon. So we took some time to think about it, and Dell even asked my dad for advice. Ultimately, we decided to have her move up for those two classes, but stay in elementary for everything else. Mrs. Franklin will help her if she needs it, and she\u2019s thrilled, because she\u2019ll still get to see Becky and Blake for part of the school day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSounds like a good solution.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt is, and the irony of her being a math whiz isn\u2019t lost on me. And of course, Jim just had to make a smart aleck comment about it. I know he was trying to be funny and didn\u2019t mean it the way I took it, but he\u2019s always had impeccable timing for making those comments at the exact wrong moment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid he even realize how it sounded?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course not. Has he ever?\u201d She rolled her eyes, then took a deep breath. \u201cThat\u2019s all water under the bridge. We all know math was never my strong suit and well, Jim is Jim. But what kind of mother am I if I never even noticed she was that far ahead?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA human one? Did the captain know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n She shook her head. \u201cNo. According to Mrs. Franklin, she just kinda took off on her own initiative, and pretty much aced the whole thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTrixie, how much did you do without your parents knowing about it? I suspect there are things that you still hope they never find out about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s for sure,\u201d she admitted. \u201cAnd I did have a good long talk with her that weekend. But then the weekend after…., uh, never mind. I told you, now start talking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNope. Spill it. What happened the next weekend?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe dropped the girls off at Dave and Jean\u2019s and went to Aaron Cohen\u2019s birthday party at the country club.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI actually had fun for most of it. Aunt Alicia and Mr. Lytell were there, because of course they were. At any rate, she and I went to the restroom together after dinner. Two women I don’t really know came in. They had no idea we were in there, because it was obvious they were talking about me and Dell, even without naming names. Mentioned that one day I\u2019ll realize he\u2019s too old for me and leave him. The other one said no, that once the \u2018twinkie\u2019,\u201d Trixie put finger quotes around the word \u201ctwinkie\u201d, \u201cstarts aging, he\u2019ll dump me and move on to the next pretty young thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not a twinkie! And you know that would never happen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know,\u201d she reassured him. Her frown turned into a brief grin. \u201cBut here\u2019s the best part. Aunt Alicia opened her stall door and walked out. She totally twisted it around as though they were talking about her and Mr. Lytell. Told them she\u2019s not a twinkie, but that she\u2019s a tiramisu. Then she told them that even being a twinkie is better than being an old dried-up prune danish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan choked on the Coke he\u2019d just swallowed. \u201cOkay, that story alone made coming here worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt was definitely one of her best comebacks. It\u2019s just frustrating that people still don\u2019t take us seriously. Don\u2019t take me<\/em> seriously. I mean, you know why I\u2019m a twinkie? Twinkies are light and fluffy, but have no real substance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike I said, you\u2019re not<\/em> a twinkie. But does it really matter what other people think? Dell loves you. Your daughters love you. You love them all. Does anyone else\u2019s opinion really matter?\u201d He heard the words coming out of his own mouth and sighed. \u201cWhen I asked you what you thought you were doing when I found out you two were dating, you told me you were following your heart. Forget Jim\u2019s comment. Forget those old biddies at the party.\u201d His eyes narrowed. \u201cWho were they anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDoesn\u2019t matter. Pretty sure they\u2019re still recovering from the burn Aunt Alicia gave them. Besides, you just told me to forget them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTrixie…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDan….\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He huffed, then remembered where he had been going with his leading. \u201cPretend Chloe has a nice full set of baby teeth and you\u2019ve slept for a week. Has it all been worth it? Would you do it again?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She didn\u2019t have to hesitate. \u201cYes. All of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan was silent for a moment. \u201cYou heard about the blind date.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMore about your temper tantrum, but yeah. Well, and Jake\u2019s astonishment at it. He was kinda hoping you\u2019d have him take her out since you didn\u2019t want to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI should have let him,\u201d he sighed. \u201cYou know that stage of a relationship where you don\u2019t have a commitment, don\u2019t know if the other person wants one, and you don\u2019t know if there even is a relationship? And the last thing you want to do is talk about it to other people? Present company not<\/em> excepted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cToo bad. And yeah. It was different for me and Dell, but you just described most of my time dating Jim.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen you know it sucks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBig time. Who is she? I know you and Wilhelmina were pretty close when she was here, and I kinda wondered if something might be starting there. I mean, beyond you taking her to the range.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s how it started. That\u2019s all it was supposed to be. Once we got her over her nerves, she\u2019s a way better shot than I\u2019d expected her to be. That first time, we lost track of time and were there longer than I\u2019d planned, so we stopped at my house so I could feed Hannah before I took her back to the Manor House. Hannah adored her on sight, and it was mutual. Wilhelmina\u2019s face just lit up. Have you ever seen her smile? I mean, a relaxed, truly delighted smile?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She shook her head. \u201cNo. There\u2019s always been a bit of something else with it. Sadness, maybe. I get the feeling she hasn\u2019t had too much to actually smile about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI think I\u2019d do almost anything to get that smile from her. At any rate, there was no way I was going to interrupt Hannah purring in her arms, and we wound up ordering a pizza and talking for hours. A couple of days later, we went back to the range, then I introduced her to Chuck Norris movies. One thing led to another, and well, you know. Now she\u2019s gone, and I have no idea what I\u2019m doing. I mean, we connected on a level that I\u2019ve never had with anyone before. We just clicked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDoes she feel the same?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI think so, but who knows? We\u2019ve talked or at least texted most days since she left, and she seems happy when we do. She\u2019s caught up on several cases she put off while she was here, and then she was spending this past weekend with her college roommate. I almost called her when I got home Saturday night, but for all I know, her<\/em> friend set her up with someone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou won\u2019t know until you ask.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut then what? It\u2019s not that easy. There are so many things to consider.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike what? If it\u2019s her age, she\u2019s one of those unlucky people who went gray in her early twenties. She\u2019s only forty-two. That\u2019s what? Fourteen years difference? That’s less than me and Dell.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s not that. Well, maybe a little, but only because I wanted a kid someday. Granted, that\u2019s not a given with anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou do realize that unless she has health issues I don\u2019t know about, she probably still has a few years left before that\u2019s an issue? I mean, Moms hasn\u2019t really even started menopause yet, and she\u2019s going to be forty-nine in August. Whether or not Wilhelmina wants kids may be another question, but given how she interacted with Chloe, I\u2019d be surprised if she didn\u2019t at least think about it. I\u2019m just saying if she\u2019s willing, it\u2019s probably not impossible. Just don\u2019t put it off forever. Sooner would be better than later.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He was silent a moment. \u201cI just told you it doesn\u2019t matter what people say, but I don\u2019t want her hurt by gossip, either. This is Sleepyside, after all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhere there\u2019s always going to be gossip. But she\u2019s been here often enough and stayed long enough last time that she\u2019s less of a curiosity. Don\u2019t make your decision based on trying to protect her, Dan. That would be the worst thing you could do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLet\u2019s say this is mutual and I go for it. Is now the right time? Is she ready for a relationship? David\u2019s only been gone three months, but he\u2019s been dead for ten years, and they\u2019d broken up before that. A part of me wonders if things happened the way they did only because it had been so long since she\u2019d physically been with anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan you honestly deny that wasn\u2019t part of it for you? You haven\u2019t gone out with anyone more than twice since Kelly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHonestly? No, I can\u2019t, and I\u2019d be lying if I said there wasn\u2019t wine involved, but things progressed from there. What\u2019s that saying? In wine, there is truth? It helped me see possibilities that I might not have otherwise seen. If that first time had been all it was, I wouldn\u2019t be sitting here right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019d be at the station bragging to Jake about your conquest the other night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNah. I wouldn\u2019t risk it getting back to Holt and giving him the satisfaction of knowing I enjoyed the date.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo she really was all that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFor a short-term fling and I wasn\u2019t hung on on someone else? She could have been. Long-term? Probably not. She lives in Texas, and if I\u2019m going to have a long distance relationship, it has to be worth it, you know? I can spend two hours on the phone with Wilhelmina and it feels like two minutes. I don\u2019t see that with Cherie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut Wilhelmina\u2019s worth it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah. She is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen that\u2019s your answer. Call her. When you asked me what I thought I was doing when Dell and I started dating, I seem to remember telling you I was following my heart. Isn\u2019t it time you do the same?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI just don\u2019t want it broken.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know there are no guarantees, but if my hunches are still worth anything, I don\u2019t think it will be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve risked more than a broken heart on those hunches before,\u201d he reminded her. \u201cI\u2019ll try. We\u2019ll see what happens. No matter what, at least I\u2019ll know I tried.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He spent a few more minutes chatting with Trixie, greeted Honey when she came back from her own lunch, then headed back to the station.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After he got home that night, he fed Hannah, threw a frozen dinner in the microwave, and sent a text. \u201cCall me? I miss you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The simple \u201cI miss you\u201d was the most direct he\u2019d been so far, and he sighed. \u201cAlright, Hannah. I\u2019m going to try. I have to find out one way or another.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was about an hour before his phone rang, and the calico came running. She jumped into his lap and began to purr as he grabbed for it. \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDan?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her voice was shaky and hesitant in a way it hadn\u2019t been since she had first told them the story of her experiences in Pergamos. Dan\u2019s heart clenched as he realized something was desperately wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWilhelmina? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI… I need to see you. Would you be up for company if I came out? I can stay at the Inn…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOr you\u2019re welcome to stay with me. Whatever you\u2019re most comfortable with. Do you need me to come out there? Where are you? At home or still at Noel\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m still at Noel\u2019s, and no, you don\u2019t have to come out. When are you off next?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFriday and Saturday. But I\u2019m sure I could get leave if you need me. I could be there tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s not necessary. I\u2019ll see if I can get a flight out Friday, if that\u2019s okay? But if you already have plans…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy only plans are to pick you up at the airport. Send me your flight information once you know it. And seriously. I can come out, or you can come sooner. I\u2019m worried about you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDan. I swear it\u2019s nothing that urgent. It can wait a few days and it\u2019s not like I\u2019m alone. Noel wants me to stay here until I fly out. I\u2019m going to take her up on that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood. That makes me feel a little better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was so little relief, though, that even though they had talked about other things and she had seemed more herself when he finally hung up, he eventually went to bed more tied up in knots than the previous two nights. The next morning, he stalked into the captain\u2019s office. \u201cGive me a case or put me on traffic duty. I need something that\u2019s going to keep my mind off everything else and get me out of this station.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI took your wife\u2019s advice and tried to talk to Wilhelmina last night. Something\u2019s wrong, and she won\u2019t tell me what, nor does she want me to come out there. All I know is she wants to talk to me in person and I\u2019m not getting anything else out of her until Friday, assuming she\u2019s able to get a plane ticket. So fair warning about my day off. I\u2019m going to ignore any calls that aren\u2019t from her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShut the door and sit down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan complied, then sat down on the edge of the chair across from the captain\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhen did this department start revolving around your love life, or lack thereof?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n After Dan didn\u2019t answer, Dell sighed. \u201cNever mind. I\u2019m just glad it\u2019s not another suburban princess. So she wants to talk in person?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He nodded. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, relax. No matter how many frequent flyer miles she\u2019s racked up, I highly doubt she\u2019d fly out here just to give you a \u2018Dear Dan\u2019 speech, especially since it sounds like you don\u2019t even know if there\u2019s actually a relationship there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut there\u2019s something<\/em> wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaybe. Maybe not. One thing I\u2019ve learned over the years is that \u2018we need to talk\u2019 can mean absolutely anything at all. Heather once told me we needed to talk and I spent the day freaking out only to find out she shrank one of my sweaters in the dryer. I didn\u2019t even like<\/em> the sweater.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd Trixie?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dell snorted. \u201cBad example. That spectrum ranges anywhere from \u2018I want to hire a medium\u2019 to \u2018I found a murderer\u2019 to \u2018I forgot to thaw dinner, so we\u2019re getting takeout.\u2019 Although it was apparently good for you she hired that medium.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan grinned despite himself. \u201cYeah. It was. Even though she prefers \u2018psychic investigator.\u2019 Apparently there\u2019s a difference.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy point stands. There\u2019s no telling what your psychic investigator <\/em>wants to talk about. If she won\u2019t tell you, she\u2019s either playing games or she has a reason, and she doesn\u2019t seem like the type to play games.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe\u2019s not. I\u2019ve certainly dated enough of those to recognize it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo she has a reason. I\u2019m going to suggest that you do some hard thinking over the next couple of days. What are you prepared to do if it\u2019s something life altering? Say a terminal illness? Right now, you have no real commitment, so if you\u2019re not ready for that, you need to tell her so you don\u2019t get in over your head. Or maybe she picked up a living stalker that could put you in danger. Maybe she just decided to join the Peace Corps and wants one last romp with you before heading off to the jungle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not exactly helping, but yeah. I get your point.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGo ride with Nelson today. Still not too much going on, and it never hurts to keep an eye on the rookies. This slow spell won\u2019t last forever and we\u2019ll need you to have your head back in the game. But Dan? If you need advice or just want to talk? My door\u2019s always open and you have my private cell number.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan recognized a genuine offer and he smiled. \u201cThanks. I may take you up on that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The ride along with Tim helped slightly, but once at home with Hannah, his mind went back to his conversation with the captain and the various dire scenarios he had mentioned. The week passed slowly, with only occasional texts to keep him updated on her plans, and Friday morning found him at LaGuardia two hours before her red-eye flight was scheduled to land.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He was at the baggage claim for her gate cursing the restrictions that kept him from going any further when he finally saw her among the throng of passengers headed his way. She was wearing a red v-neck tunic with black slacks, and while the outfit would normally have been very flattering on her, the bright color emphasized the ashen tone of her face. He rushed to take her carry-on from her, then pulled her into his arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She momentarily relaxed into his embrace, squeezing tightly before she pulled away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid you eat on the plane? Do you want to stop for coffee or breakfast? Red-eye flights can be rough.\u201d He realized he was babbling, and took a deep breath. \u201cSorry. I\u2019ve missed you, and I\u2019ve been so worried.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve missed you, too,\u201d she told him. \u201cAnd I didn\u2019t want to make you worry, but I didn\u2019t know how else to handle this. I couldn\u2019t talk about it over the phone, and then I thought it would be best to wait until we got to Sleepyside, but now that I\u2019m here… can we go somewhere to talk? Before I lose my nerve?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sure we can find somewhere, just as soon as we get your luggage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou have it. After being stuck in Wyoming once while my luggage went to California, I turned packing several days of clothing in a carry-on bag into an art form.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat did you do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cConducted a seance dressed like a cowgirl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSeriously?\u201d he grinned despite his nerves. \u201cI\u2019d have loved to have seen that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI think I still have that outfit somewhere in the back of my closet. The far<\/em> back. I keep it just to remind myself how silly that whole thing was.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sure you were cute.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She flushed, bringing a little color back into her cheeks. \u201cI doubt that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t. And I suspect you\u2019re more familiar with this airport than I am. Any suggestions? We could always go somewhere outside the airport, but depending on just where, it would probably be easier to take the subway then come back for my car.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI always forget how bad New York traffic is. I usually just take the train, then rent a car when I get wherever it is that I\u2019m actually headed.\u201d She thought for a moment. \u201cWhat if we head towards the parking ramp and see what we find? Even if it\u2019s just a somewhat empty waiting area. If not, it could wait until we get back to your house, but…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut what?\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNever mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow I really need to know,\u201d he told her. \u201cWhatever\u2019s wrong, if I can help, I will. I hope you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She pulled him off the walkway to a mercifully deserted bank of hard plastic chairs. \u201cDan, I owe you an apology. I never dreamed you would worry this much, and by the time I realized it, it was too late. I really couldn\u2019t tell you over the phone, and I\u2019ve spent all week trying to figure out just how to say this. To lead up to it and break it to you gently. I still don\u2019t know how the best way to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust tell me. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEver since I left here, I\u2019ve been thinking about a make-over. You know, refresh my wardrobe. New hairstyle. Go back to my original color and look my actual age for the first time since never. I know we made no promises, no commitment, but I had hoped that maybe since we were still talking that maybe I might actually have a chance with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou have every chance with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She took a deep breath. \u201cWait, please? Last weekend, Noel and I went shopping in St. Louis. I made an appointment with her stylist for Monday. Sunday morning, she had to make an emergency run to the drugstore for pads for her daughter and I realized I hadn\u2019t needed any since the week before I went to Pergamos. I\u2019m not exactly regular, and I knew it wasn\u2019t likely, but I wanted to be sure before I had my hair dyed. Just in case.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan\u2019s gaze flew to her hair, which despite being cut into a more flattering style was the same color he had always known her to have. \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her lips quirked in a small smile. \u201cDan, I\u2019m pregnant. Confirmed by half a dozen drugstore tests on Sunday, a doctor\u2019s test on Monday, bloodwork, and even an ultrasound to make sure it\u2019s growing where it\u2019s supposed to. It\u2019s only a tiny little speck at this point that I had to squint to see, but the doctor assured me it was normal for this early. I swear I didn\u2019t plan this, and I\u2019m not trying to trap you or force you into doing anything. Say the word and I\u2019ll get back on that plane and you never have to see me again. I make decent money and I have savings. I won\u2019t ask for support. You can forget you ever met me. We\u2019ll be okay. I just… I just have to know what you want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Relief and shock as she began to speak were quickly replaced by anger and hurt as her heard her offer to leave. A sharp reply sprang to spring to his lips, and he would forevermore be thankful he saw the fear in her eyes before he found his voice. He took a deep breath and fought to speak evenly. \u201cIs that what you want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo. It\u2019s not. But it\u2019s not about me. It\u2019s about you. It\u2019s about a baby I never thought I\u2019d have a chance to have. I don\u2019t even know if you want kids, and my wild hopes aside, I know I\u2019m not the kind of woman you really want. I need you to know I\u2019m not trying to ruin your life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you know what would ruin my life? You getting back on that plane. I\u2019ve been miserable since you left. You know the kind of woman I want? Someone who won\u2019t complain constantly about my movies and music or about sharing me with work. Someone I can talk to and laugh with. Someone who gets<\/em> me. Someone to be a true companion. I know we haven\u2019t really known each other that long, and there\u2019s still a lot to learn about each other, but every part of me is screaming that that\u2019s you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEven now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEspecially now. I didn\u2019t expect it this soon, but yeah, I do want a family. And I\u2019d even started to hope it would be with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He reached for her hands. \u201cCome home with me? Please? I know we still have a lot to talk about and figure out, but can we do it together?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before she could answer, they heard voices in the distance and realized that a group of travelers was rapidly approaching. She smiled and squeezed his hands. \u201cTogether sounds good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A few days later, Dan slipped down to the stables while Wilhelmina was at the Manor House visiting with Madeleine Wheeler. His uncle was busy cleaning tack after a long morning exercising the horses, and Dan grabbed a rag and picked up a bridle. \u201cGot a few minutes? I\u2019ll help.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSure. Haven\u2019t seen you in a while. Work keeping you busy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAmong other things. I\u2019ve decided to finally settle down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWith your cat?\u201d Regan teased, grinning mischievously at his nephew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan gently reached over and punched his arm. \u201cNo. Although she\u2019s not going anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPlease tell me you\u2019re not back with Kelly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDefinitely not Kelly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWilhelmina James.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Regan dropped his polishing cloth. \u201cNo. Seriously.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI am serious. When she was here a few weeks ago, she needed to learn how to shoot, so I took her out to the range. We kinda hit it off and kept in touch after she left. She came back late last week, and well, here we are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHave to admit I did not<\/em> see that one coming. Does she make you happy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe does. And I think and hope I make her happy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIsn\u2019t this still kind of sudden? What do you mean by settling down? Getting married? Living together?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe\u2019s going to move in with me for now. Well, she\u2019s going to fly back home for a few days and tie up some loose ends, then I\u2019m going to go out there and help her get everything moved. We\u2019ll be getting a storage unit somewhere until we find a bigger place. The chief already approved my time off.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCat-sitter lined up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou volunteering?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf you need me to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dan chuckled. Holt had offered to take care of the cat for him to make amends, and he had no doubt that Hannah would be well taken care of while he was gone. Billy the Kid was pushy and could be infuriating at times, but he was also someone Dan would – and regularly did – trust with his life. \u201cThanks, but it\u2019s taken care of. Another officer owes me a favor, and she\u2019ll be very spoiled while I\u2019m gone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n After a moment of silence, Regan grabbed a clean cloth and returned his attention to the saddle he had been working on. Dan put down his own cloth and perched on a convenient stool. \u201cThere\u2019s something else. Wilhelmina\u2019s pregnant. She knows I\u2019m telling you, but she wants to wait until she\u2019s past the first trimester to make it public knowledge.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd that explains the suddenness,\u201d the older man grinned. \u201cJust marry her before it\u2019s born, or your mam will come back and haunt me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t think it works that way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAllanah would find a way!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTrue. I like to think she would be happy, though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe would have been. Family was everything to her, and I know she would have loved anyone who loves you. Woe to any who tried to take advantage of you, though. I\u2019m assuming that\u2019s not the case here, or we\u2019d be having a very different conversation right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe actually offered me an out,\u201d he said. \u201cWould have moved closer to her parents and raised it on her own. It really hurt, even though I know she was doing it for my sake. Didn\u2019t want to feel like she was trapping me into something she thought I didn\u2019t want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Regan gave up on the saddle and tossed both rags into a corner before sitting down next to his nephew. \u201cYou would have done the right thing regardless, but I\u2019m glad for your sake that it\u2019s more than just a duty for you. You deserve more than that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt is more than that. I know this is fast, but it\u2019s what I would have wanted even without the baby. And you can save your lecture on how I was irresponsible. It might have been, but I can\u2019t really feel like it was.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHad it been one of those spoiled daddy\u2019s girls you\u2019ve usually dated, I might have. As it is, you\u2019re both mature adults and you have a good job, so I\u2019m assuming you can afford to raise a family. It\u2019s not up to me to tell you how to build it.\u201d He snorted. \u201cFrankly, I\u2019m just glad one of us is managing a successful relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUh-oh. What happened to Fay? I thought you two were going to go the distance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe did, too. Unfortunately, I may have panicked when she started hinting about wanting more of a commitment and broke it off before it could go any farther.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBeen there, done that. I think when you find the right one, you\u2019ll know. Something in me just kind of settled when I got to know Wilhelmina. My panic was focused more on worrying she didn\u2019t feel the same.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOnce she gets settled in here, let me know, and I\u2019ll take you two out to dinner somewhere. In the meantime, tell me about her. I know she\u2019s been in and out of Sleepyside over the last few years, but I haven\u2019t really talked to her since the girls ambushed her out in Minnesota. I admit I don\u2019t remember much about her other than she was there and helped find that blasted horse.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI get the impression she\u2019s changed a lot since then,\u201d Dan said. \u201cI mean, I didn\u2019t know her then, but she\u2019s gone through a lot in the last few years. She\u2019s amazing, though. Hannah absolutely adores her. That\u2019s actually how it first became more than just a trip to the range…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n As he told his uncle about the beginnings of the relationship and what she was like, Regan\u2019s words about building his own family came back to him. It may not look exactly like he had once envisioned, but he was building it in his own way. He had Regan\u2019s bemused approval, Wilhelmina, Hannah, and a baby coming in the not-so-distant future. Home and family beyond Regan were no longer a sad abstract thought or dream that had so often felt out of his reach. He finally had his own green world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just beyond the troubled skyways <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ever the gentleman, Dan walked his blind date to Holt’s front door, where she shivered as she rummaged through her purse for her keys. \u201cWant to come in for a cup of coffee?\u201d Dan could easily hear the unspoken, \u201cand more?\u201d in her words, and he barely contained a scowl. Cherie had done nothing wrong … Continue reading Dan’s Own Green World<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":34,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-511","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/511","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=511"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/511\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":517,"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/511\/revisions\/517"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/34"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theperpetualpen.com\/trixie\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=511"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Young men dream of fire and starshine
I’ve been dreaming of my own green world
Far across the reach of space time<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n