by Eric

Trixie Molinson was on edge that night for reasons she couldn’t put her finger on. It was dark, it was unseasonably chilly for early June, and her infant daughter Chloe had a case of the cranks from teething and only seemed to be interested in sleeping in short bursts, saving her energy to be awake and difficult when Trixie or her husband needed to sleep.

Wendell was currently on a late shift. The lack of sleep had been wearing on his nerves, and whereas he had been trying his best not to let Trixie suffer for his mood, he sometimes got short with her, or left quickly, before he had a chance to lash out. Being the detective she was, she knew more than lack of sleep was on his mind. There was stress at work, and with Wendell being tight lipped to avoid being rude or inconsiderate, she hadn’t really had a chance to find out what had been bothering him.

Erica was spending the night with a friend, she had no doubt they would be up for quite some time watching the late show and playing Playstation. Chloe had finally been asleep for more than an hour, and being caught up on all other household chores that Saturday night, Trixie had a moment to breathe and relax, but alone with her thoughts and not knowing what had her husband on edge, let her to feel a bit down and sorry for herself.

All thoughts of gloom and mood were instantly forgotten when she heard something outside, that startled her out of her thoughts. She froze. The baby was still sound asleep, and whatever it was, hadn’t been enough to wake her up.

The sound came again. Trixie got up and went to their gun safe and rooted through it until she found a GLOCK 19 her husband had recently purchased as more modern back up gun than his old Colt Detective Special. She took the trigger lock off and loaded it, and clipped the holster to the waistband of her pants. She then went around, turning a lot of the lights off in the house and then kind of slunk around by the windows in the direction she thought she heard the noise. It was only a glimpse in the moonlight, but she saw something that startled her very badly. The sounds came again, and it seemed to be coming straight from the thing she saw. After heavy debate she went in search of her phone.

“Sleepyside Police Department. Barlow speaking.”

“Hey Jake, this is Trixie.”

“Hey Trixie, what can we do for you?”

“You actually in the office on a Saturday Night? Thought that’s usually when Stakeout Squad was put on a hot case.”

Jake snorted.

“We’ve had a rare and unusual phenomenon in Stakeout Squad as of late. Boredom. We still train like crazy, but I guess the hardcore crooks wised up. Some of the stakeouts we’ve been on to stay busy is stuff, that between you, me and the wall, is very beneath us. The ‘hot stakeout’ last week was on a local accountant going through a messy divorce, who was trying to mail some personal financial documents out of the country before her lawyer found them. I can’t tell what a thrill it was to have six of us, in two cars, armed to the teeth trying to keep an eye on all the downtown mail boxes. Think when he saw all the men with guns, he nearly took a dump in his chinos.”

Trixie giggled.

“The week before that we ran in three kids passing around a bowl. Think we spent an hour scrapping resin out of the pipe so that we had enough weed to bust them for possession with intent to distribute.”

“Sorry to hear that. I realize it’s a double edged sword. When you are busy and exciting things are happening for you as a cop, it means something bad is happening. When things are quiet, you get bored professionally. But hey. They say one of the biggest forms of flattery is working yourself out of a job.”

Jake snorted again.

“I like a little peace and quiet as much as the next person, but I tend to be climbing the walls when I don’t have something meaningful to do.”

“If busy is what you like, find some nice girl and knock her up. I think this last hour is the first quiet one I’ve had since Chloe was born.”

“Yeah well, finding the ‘nice girl’ who would deign to carry my demon seed seems to be the crux of the problem. Even with no exciting cases at work, we have to spend a considerable amount of time working out and shooting. Hasn’t really left me with a lot of time to go looking for that flavor of unicorn. Usually I’m doing pretty good if I just find a bored trollop at the Dutch Oven that wants a free drink.”

Trixie giggled again.

“Have faith. It will happen someday.”

“Just not tonight.”

“So look Jake, I was calling to see if my husband or Dan was in?”

“Your husband is off with the chief and another detective on something that has them pissy and worried, but the last time any of us casually asked what was up, we were told to go back to Police Academy driving course until we learned to stay in our lane.”

“A hot case, and Stakeout Squad was not asked to play?”

“We had high hopes, but so far no dice. We watch things and if need be, shoot people. We were told to leave the thinking and investigating to the detectives. Lightman and Holt are on vacation anyway.”

“Is Dan around?”

“I really thought we were going to have a shootout in our office when this happened, but before Holt headed out on his fishing trip, he set Dan up on a blind date. An old friend of his came up from Texas, and he wasn’t going to be around to entertain her because he had already set up his trip. So he asked Dan to give her a good night on the town. Real curvy cow girl. I told him to go for it. I thought she was a looker, and was kind of pissed I wasn’t asked to take her out. Under any other circumstances, Dan might of considered it, but Holt kind of railroaded him. Told him, she had already agreed to go out with him, and was stoked. And Dan hates that so much. Thought Dan was just going to draw down, and then just go home to his cat and his Chuck Norris movies. But he agreed, but let Holt know there was going to be consequences.”

“Is this drama normal in Stakeout Squad?”

“Gives us something to do. For all the movie stereotypes surrounding cops, there are two things that are universally true. A police department is going to have more drama that a soap opera. And two, cops are far and away the worst gossips in the modern world. Worse than a garden club or sewing circle.”

Trixie giggled again, but then heard the noise in the distance.

“So look. Maybe you can help me.”

“Sure. What do you need?”

“This is just a certified Trixie hunch. But something very strange may be on our property.”

“Someone?”

“Truth be told I only had once glimpse. And based on that glimpse, I couldn’t tell if it was a someone or a something. . . .”

“Not asking this because I doubt you, but what did it look like?”

“Don’t judge me for saying this, because I’m already doubting my own memories.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. I’ve heard all the stories of what you’ve been up to since you were a teenager.”

“It kind of looked like a mummy. And it doesn’t sound happy.”

“Yikes. Okay. As soon as the dispatch gets back from the bathroom, I’ll tell them and our watch commander I’m headed out. I’ll hit the armory and check my trunk gun.”

“Thanks Jake. I really appreciate this. Don’t really feel up to having my game face on for this kind of trouble, having to look after the baby.”

“You tell Chloe not to worry. If this mummy makes trouble, I’ll show it who it’s daddy is.”

As if instantly responding to the bad joke, Chloe started to scream.

When Jake showed up, the night had grown chillier and more foreboding. The moon was no longer visible and it was threatening rain with bits of frigid sprinkles. Trixie had finally rocked Chloe back to sleep on her shoulder and just nodded for Jake to come in.

“I’ll join you in a little while. If you can just tell me roughly where you saw it, and I’ll have a look around.”

Trixie carefully pointed.

“Seems to be around those trees.”

“Right. Sit tight and I’ll see if I can find it.”

With that Jake checked each of this STI .45s, in each holster, and then got out a large Mag-Lite and roamed off where Trixie had pointed. Trixie smiled and then carefully closed the door before she or the baby caught cold.

Jake appeared about fifteen minutes later. Trixie had set Chloe back down in her baby basket and had made him a cup of coffee, which he gratefully accepted.

“So what’s the verdict?” Trixie asked. “We getting invaded by ancient Egypt?”

“I didn’t see or hear it. But someone or something was there. I found evidence of its passage.”

“What do you think it was?”

“Whatever it was, walked upright. I’ve hunted and tracked enough to know that. But if it was a mummy, it’s not here anymore. Maybe it left on maternity leave.”

Chloe immediately began to scream again.

“Jake. I am seriously starting to not like you.”

Jake grinned sheepishly as she picked up the baby again.

“Sorry. So look, do you need me to stick around.”

“You don’t have to. I’m not a paranoid, hysterical mother. If you think it’s gone, that’s good enough for me. If I see it or hear it, I’ll call again, and I do know how to shoot.”

“Tell you what. I think I’m going to patrol the neighborhood. Stay in this neck of the woods.”

“If you want to do that, I won’t stop you.”

“It’s police work, and something to do, and I won’t be around for the watch commander or the dispatch to give me busy work at the office.”

“Okay. Thank you Jake. Seriously.”

“No worries. Stakeout Squad is on the case.”

As worried as Trixie was about what might be on the loose, it was a welcome worry that finally made her feel like she was getting back in the saddle again. Chloe was once again asleep, and it gave Trixie time to consider the problem from every angle.

She then heard it again. It sounded different this time. When the noise stopped, she slowly got up and crept to the window. After scanning the darkness for a long moment, she saw it again. Only this time it looked different. When she couldn’t see it anymore she got out her phone and called Jake directly.

“Yo,” he greeted. “Any more visits from Giza?”

“I heard and saw it again. Got a better look.”

‘That’s good. All I found was a total beater hoopty car with a flat tire. Will probably have it towed if it’s still there in the morning.”

“Once again don’t judge. I’m doing enough of that myself. Wondering if pregnancy finally made me loose my marbles.”

“Didn’t say a word.”

Trixie swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Upon closer inspection, it looked and sounded like a wolf man.”

“Damn. Okay. Wonder if it’s his car with the flat. Because if it is, he needs a Wolfman jack.”

Chloe immediately began to scream.

“Jake, I hate you.”

“Sounds like Chloe is a smart baby with very good hearing. Doesn’t like my sense of humor.”

“Jake!”

“Right. Sorry. I’ll be right there to have another look around.”

Jake’s next more thorough search brought him back to the house with a small leather pouch. Trixie had just managed to rock Chloe back to sleep.

“Jake, one more joke and I swear I’ll . . ..”

Jake just grinned but held up what he found. Trixie went to put the baby back down, and nodded to the dining room. Jake went into the kitchen and returned with a paper towel he put on the table. He then put on some gloves he used to handle evidence. He then carefully emptied the pouch on the table. It had dried flower buds mixed with some kind of powder.

“What is that?” Trixie asked.

“Wolfsbane. Careful with that. It’s very poisonous.”

“I’ve heard of that, but don’t know specifics. What do people do with that?”

‘Folklore says it can protect you from werewolves and shape shifting. If you know what you are doing, it can have medicinal uses. But I’m starting to suspect our prowler didn’t know what he was doing, and may be in a bad way. Who knows what else is in this mess. If he’s mixed this with Belladonna or Nightshade, he may be in a world of his own.”

“Yikes. Pragmatically speaking, flying junkies can be very hard to stop with guns. May see about getting Dell’s shotgun out.”

“If you need something like that, I have both a 12 gauge and an AR I can loan you in my trunk.”

“Let’s not hit the panic button just yet.”

“Fair enough. But I think I’m going to call this in and let dispatch know there are things afoot, and I think now that we’ve had two sightings, I’m going to lurk considerably closer. But first I’ll get these poisonous drugs off your table and bag and tag it.”

“Okay Jake. Do what you need to.”

As grateful as she was for Jake’s help, Trixie found herself wishing more and more that she could talk to Wendell. After heavy debates with herself, she sent him a quick text, and then just waited.

She wasn’t sure how long she had sat there thinking about the new clues when she heard noise again, now sounding like maniacal laughter. She quickly got up and went to the window. She saw it again and watched it. She immediately called Jake.

“I heard it,” he said by way of greeting.”

‘I saw it. It looked like a vampire.”

“It’s official. This case sucks.”

Chloe immediately began to scream.

Trixie began to sputter, but Jake cut her off. She could tell from his heavy breathing he was running with his phone.

“He’s trying to stay in the shadows. Do me a favor and turn your back porch light on. Make as much light as you can. If he avoids it, I may be able to get ahead of him.”

“Right.”

Trixie ran to do as he asked, but bright lights on the porch made it hard to see off in the dark. Pacing nervously, she went to tend to the baby, finding it hard to wait. She heard some commotion outside. Then her heart stopped as she heard a gunshot. She nearly paced in a hole in the floor which was enough motion to get Chloe to fall back asleep. There was finally a knock at the front door. She put the baby back in her basket and went to get it.

Much to her surprise, not only was Jake there, but her husband and the chief of police.

“What happened?”

“We caught him.”

“Caught who? What’s been going on here? No one tells me anything, you won’t even speak to me before you go to work, I hear strange noises, see strange things, hear gunfire, and then suddenly you are here? I’m losing my mind here. Don’t know if I’m going to have to protect my baby from a wolfman, a mummy or a vampire?”

Wendell came in and hugged his wife.

“It’s okay baby. It’s okay. I’m sorry I’ve been so short. I was hoping this case wouldn’t drag out and we’d catch this clown. A lot of people have seen him, and the heat was on from above to find him quickly.”

Chloe began to fret. Trixie fretted, and went to check on her. Wendell nodded to invite the other two in, and while Trixie rocked her daughter in her arms, he got Jake and the chief coffee from the pot she had made and they sat down in the living room.

“Our perp is a man named Lenny Gould. Vagrant with a record a mile long for possession, vagrancy, public nuisance, assault, robbery, petty and grand larceny and sexual assault. Complete junkie that pissed his dealers off so much, he often resorted to herbs he could get through shady New Age connections. He drifted into this area and we started getting a lot of complaints, and when we figured out who he was, after a tip from White Plains PD, who had just run him out of town, we hoped to get him before he got into real trouble.”

Trixie took several deep breaths as she processed what she was told.

“I can’t figure out why I saw all the things I did.”

“He was hairier than Grizzly Adams. Bandaged up from attempting to treat his own injuries. Fanged because he lost too many fights and couldn’t afford a dentist.”

Trixie sighed.

“So he wasn’t a mummy, he wasn’t a vampire, and he wasn’t a wolfman. So just what did we catch here on our property?”

“An asshole,” Jake said bluntly.

Chloe began to giggle uncontrollably.

Wendell sighed and grinned.

‘Yep. She’s the daughter of cops. Already understands the way they talk. . .”

This brought grins throughout the room.

“Well then,” Trixie said. “I’m glad that’s over. Maybe the excitement will be enough to get the giggler here to let us have a full night’s sleep.”

After relaxing and enjoying their coffee for a few minutes, the cops feel back on their favorite pastimes of gossip.

“Anyone know if Dan is still out on his date?” Jake asked.

“We haven’t heard anything, but I think even if he has a good time, Holt is on borrowed time . . .”